PIZZA UNION.

Last night I went for a meal with someone who is far more creative and literate than I could ever be so after not much persuasion at all he has written guest blog post about our meal. Please all be upstanding for the one and only, Jack Shearring…

“As I was leaving work tonight a colleague asked me where I was hurrying off to tonight. I replied that I was having dinner with my ex-girlfriend. Cue an awkward look from said colleague who was left a little tongue tied. “Don’t worry” I said, “we’re really good friends now and have six months to catch up on”.

Navigating through the windy streets of Shoreditch, me and Lucy caught up on the peripheral subjects, saving the juicy stuff til we sat down. We approached. Pizza Union is a nice open-planned, glass-windowed restaurant, with a casual vibe, nicely lit and with a comfy hum of conversation in the air. We sat down and perused the menu – simple but packed with a variety of appealing choices. Some for the meat eaters, others for the more adventurous. Being a strapping 10 stone Adonis I went for the carnivore option.

The pizza arrived promptly from the big gas-fire oven that sits proudly at the top of the restaurant, occasionally tinkered with by a couple of chefs decorating their pizza pies with colourful toppings. For me – a pizza enthusiast – there wasn’t much that could go wrong. But indeed there was.

The pizzas arrived promptly just as I was getting stuck into one of my best anecdotes of the past six months – a psychotic Tinder date. We started to tuck in and I found, much to my frustration, that my story came unstuck. My flow crumbled and my storytelling became jagged. All because of this damn tasty pizza! But I couldn’t stop stuffing my face. To the extent that at one point I was beating Lucy to the finish – something that never used to happen!

I opted for the ‘Carne’ – pepperoni, beef, chicken and onions. The right amount of topping and, at 12 inches, the perfect size. We both shared a mutual ‘let’s just stop stories til we finish’ look and decided to sack off talking to tuck into the crispy base. A lack of grease left on the paper is always a good sign. And six quid for a great pizza is an even better one. The constant flow of people dropping by for a takeaway shows that the locals have already caught onto the trend. But I have a feeling this one isn’t a passing Shoreditch fad – it’s here to stay.

And if the pizza wasn’t enough, we tucked into a doughy ring filled with Nutella and marscapone for afters. Think of a crepe on crack and that’s what we had. It was bloody great.

I get annoyed when people disturb my stories. But for Pizza Union, my psychotic Tinder story can most certainly wait.”

For those of you that feel they still want to hear more about this great evening of pizza and Tinder stories, here is my review…

I’m not the biggest pizza fan and it’s a rarity if I go out to a pizza restaurant, to me pizza is for those moments of near death when I’m too fragile to move and all I can do is muster up the energy to order a Dominos but I think after last nights meal my mind has changed. Someone once said to me “pizza I like sex, even when it’s bad it’s still good” and although that sentence can hold a lot of truth it can also hold quite the opposite and I’m sure some people would beg to differ. Luckily tonight this was far from an issue as the pizza I ate was sensational.

Hidden away in the back alleys of Spitalfields sits this lovely little pizza joint of dreams. You order at the bar and they serve beer in bottles and wine in tumblers. You can get nuts and olives to nibble on whilst you wait for your food and everything is cooked in a huge stone oven right in front of you, or behind you if you’re sat where we were.

I went for the Formaggi (basically LOTS of cheese) pizza because you cannot go wrong with four different types of cheese. The mascarpone sold it to me and the combination of all 4 with the added chicken and artichoke went down an absolute treat. I couldn’t get over how cheap everything was for such amazing quality food and I enjoyed every single mouthful down the the very last bite. It was fucking delicious and although I slightly struggled to finish it off I was more than happy when they brought over dessert. Which to my delight was a mascarpone and Nutella filled ring of dough. It was sensational. It was everything you would want from a mascarpone and Nutella dough ring but also so, so much more. I could devour the whole thing again right now and I recommend the place massively for anyone looking for delicious cheap doughy based treats in the Spitalfields area.

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